My Life with Schizophrenia

It began when I was young growing up in Queensland I was always troubled by voices all through school, I made some friends but some didn't like me the vibe I gave disturbed them. I had a girlfriend when I was 16 years old it broke apart when I was 18 years old and then I never had a relationship that was serious after that.

At 17years I was employed as an apprentice mechanic at a marine dealership but I lost that job from using marijuana and not concentrating on my work and being enthusiastic by my job it lasted until I was 20 years old. At 21years I was diagnosed with schizophrenia the voices in my head talk about other people and this sends out an awful vibe, it was hard for me to gain friendships but some people were kind and considerate and I did make some friends by 22 I was living out Western Queensland and I was admitted to a mental ward for punching out the walls in my bedroom, 3 years later I served another 2 months in a mental ward and again hospitalized aged 32 then again at 42 for 3 months never for anything serious just like stealing cigarettes.

This schizophrenia had devastating results on my personal life I didn't leave home very often and still don't it has had a big impact. My brother stuck by me through it all and still does, I am now 50 years of age and at the time this was written I was living in a Community Care Unit to help me stop smoking marijuana and drinking alcohol I haven't had any for 15 months I still smoke cigarettes. in pre-school I felt isolated due to my voices sending out a bad vibe and it was difficult on me this occurred all through school and still affects me to this day.

I was in a few physical fights at school but I wasn't considered a brawler, when I left school aged 15 I started smoking and partying I was a reckless youth but I soon grew up and kept to myself and I did still go to BBQ's most of my life has been quiet I don't do a lot of socializing because it leads to trouble. Aged 42 I was struck down with pneumonia and septicemia I was in a coma for nine days I awoke from that not being able to walk but I learnt how to walk again within a month and I knew then I had to stop alcohol and marijuana it was toxic me I know some people swear by it but it's no good for me.

With schizophrenia through-out my life this left me saddened and I was emotionally scared by these voices I was strong enough to not let anyone know of my problems and I was able to smile. I gained a lot of strength by reading the Bible and practicing meditation my own way I didn't go to church but I wanted to be like Jesus Christ I believed and that is how I became stronger b y following Jesus in nature not by praying being similar. I can't emphasize how important it is !!!

It helps you in so many ways, one period that troubled me was 2016 my Nephew died than I was in a coma 2016 then my Dad died 2017 then my Mum died 2019 it all struck in a short time span it was quite difficult to deal with.

Tolerance is very important it took me 13 years from when I started journaling to actually release some of what I had written to the public, so you can see how I have shown restraint.